Funny Drinking Quotes You Can Share With FriendsWritten by David MasifonPosted on 02 28, 2018
If you are looking to show off to your friends that you are the drinking guru, a good use of drinking quotes will set you apart.
It’s one thing to know that champagne is more than just sparkling wine, but giving spice to your conversation by quoting men of old on alcohol and drinking sets you apart.
As you sip away at your midweek drink, here are some funny drinking quotes from history’s notable characters, that you can share with friends and well-wishers.
Quotes about drinking:
“A lady came up to me one day and said ‘Sir! You are drunk’, to which I replied ‘I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.”
Winston Churchill surely was a savage with words here.
Here’s to alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all life’s problems.”
Here is Matt Groening telling a friend that alcohol is the lock and key of all of life’s hassles.
“Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”
Amen Frank Sinatra! Preach brother!
“Here’s to alcohol, the rose coloured glasses of life.”
That one time Scott Fitzgerald became a poet because of booze.
“Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer!”
Rest peacefully in heaven Martin Luther. You taught us well.
“If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.”
Dean Martin is not wrong. We actually support the motion – “Don’t drink and drive”
“Do you drink?” “Of course, I just said I was a writer.”
Now you know where Stephen King’s weird imaginations come from.
“Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy!”
Warren Ellis has left us wondering how you can be horrible and sexy at the same time.
“Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.”
Wine has a special place in Louis Pasteur’s heart, or should we just say cellar?
“I began to think vodka was my drink at last. It didn’t taste like anything, but it went straight down into my stomach like a sword swallowers’ sword and made me feel powerful and godlike.”
No more argument, drinkers of vodka are gods and Sylvia Plath agrees.
“There is no bad whiskey. There are only some whiskeys that aren’t as good as others.”
Can we just stop at “there is no bad whiskey” Raymond Chandler?
“If you ever know a man who tries to drown his sorrows, kindly inform him his sorrows know how to swim.”
We agree with Pittacus Lore. Never use alcohol as a means to escape from life’s realities.
“For art to exist, for any sort of aesthetic activity or perception to exist, a certain physiological precondition is indispensable: intoxication.”
Friedrich Nietzsche just revealed the big connection between arts and drinking.
“They say the only people who tell the truth are drunkards and children. Guess which one I am.”
Stephen Colbert is not asking you to become a drunkard. But would you rather be a liar?
“I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.”
Oops, Chelsea Handler! Apply water to the burnt area, please.
“Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her.”
Don’t be like W.C. Fields, always show gratitude after being introduced to a good drink.
“It’s 4:58 on Friday afternoon. Do you know where your margarita is?”
Amy Neftzger is the inspiration behind #TGIF – Thank God It’s Friday!
And there are our funny drinking quotes to give cheer to your friends with. There is no harm in adding your own. Let’s see how smart alcohol has made you.